Righteous Blood
Somewhere about a food place…in the town of Handan(?)
Mr Lei wears the clothes of a clerk, not well kept up tho, and a bowl of noodles going cold in front of him whilst he reads some very interesting papers, apparently. He’s got long flowing black hair plus beard and mustache.
Sat at a small table with a cup of green tea, (bald 30something) in his saffron robes, sits alone; a similarly coloured sash covers both of his eyes, and he is holding a wooden broom with twig brush.
A young man (Mr Lo) walks up to a rice stall, dressed in outrageously cheap, dirty clothing, but the striking features of handsomeness seem vastly out of place compared to the utter filth he’s shrouded in. Placing some small amount of money down he orders up food whilst attempting to slip his hand into Mr Lei’s pocket in an attempt to thieve. Mr Lei spots Mr Lo reaching towards him and greets him and recommends the noodles rather than the rice. He encourages Mr Lo to sit down next to him.
Mr Gao, early 40s, wearing nondescript clothes, shuffles his hunch back up to the counter, grabs a seat next to Mrs Lo and Lei and gets service.
The ground is dusty around us, the stools have woven shade around them, and the tables are out in the open sun, it’s warm and humid. There is someone crying that new jobs are available and attached to a tree trunk. Mr Gao skulls his noodles and broth, flicking some over Mr Lo and Lei, and shuffles over to look at the jobs (as Mr Lei asks in passing if he was worried someone was going to nick his noodles).
Mr Lei looks at Mr Lo, as he thought a job was being offered, realised Mr Lo is offering nothing so shakes his head with incredulity and joins Mr Gao at the tree.
The work is looking for a small party - the monk comes over and asks Mr Gao to read the job, and notes the job is worth 500 coins each (250l of crap wine, a catty of baiju), and Mr Lo also says he’s in for this. The other jobs are much lower (1 coin for getting a kite out of tree, etc.). Mr Lei finally joins us, comments it’s unclear how far to go, and whether we get expenses.
Mr Lei spots an ornate dagger on the belt of Mr Lo, who on the compliment, pulls the belt down to try and cover them over. He has a lot of knives! We discuss the number of knives, how he’d be handy for defence, and Mr Lei asks whether he’s looking to get out of town sharpish. Not quickly enough, but what an interesting bunch of people. Mr Lo walks off pursued by Mr Lei asking more questions and Mr Gao grabs the ‘lost kite’ job and heads off to do that job.
We reconvene at the tree the next day - except Mr Lo - and then shuffle along to the establishment to get interviewed. Mr Lei has a lot of notes, shuffles through them then talks to the interviewer. We give our names and he clasps, bows thrice to the monk and asks how to present him. He returns the bows and says he is ‘Groundskeeper Falling Leaves’. We get bows. He opens and shouts into the courtyard presenting us and we step in: we spot a large escort milling around and several other interviewees, plus chairs spaced out with tea between each pair. At the front noone is there addressing these seats (we’re 5 mins early).
Mr Lei spots Mr Lo leaning against a pillar, and we head to sit down - Mr Lo comes over to join us. As we move to sit a guard walks to the front and asks us to take places. We’re thanked for responding to the notice, identifying it’s somewhat risky (hence the price). Those not interested in dealing with a Jianghu related job, should leave. A few people leave without dishonouring themselves - they bow, wish safe travels and leave. 6 are left: the 4 named above and two others; we drink our tea (Mr Gao drinks another one for good measure, rude tho it is) and we head in to meet the Chief “Ban Fei”.
In the reception room - a large room
Signs of a battle, damaged furniture
We sit down and are offered red pepper wine (fairly pricy, 20 coins per cup) (the monk gets tea) and the chief greets us brave companions and are introduced to the job: a briefcase-sized item continaining an Obsidian Bat, which needs to go to the Immortal Sword Manor and take it to the Immortal Sword Goddess [one of the top 10 martial artists, Liu Xiuling]. Mr Lei shuffles his papers and spots this person in the top 10, showing us the notes.
The monk is aware this chief didn’t make an appearance for a week recently and now finds himself in a wheelchair - and Mr Lo asks if there’s been a fight in here recently, spotting blood stains, and the chief repositions himself in the chair. Mr Lo asks if they were after the bat, and if it’s worth ‘a bit’. (it’s an incense burner which should improve peoples healing at a quicker rate if burned near it. Monogrammed under the burner is said bat).
As they’re lower in numbers following the fight they need to shore up numbers - only 7 guards left, after the Xie Lijuan (Heartless Dagger, the #1 lady) attack. Groundskeeper Leaves is rather taken by the fact that this job is still being seen out - even for honour or fear it’s OTT. We wonder how far the trip to Liu Xiuling would be, but Mr Lei is still so surprised that Xie has been here. GFL knows the journey - about a week-and-a-bit of continuous travel.
We negotiate a bit of per diem, food and board on the journey, so long as we don’t tarry, we’ll get 500 per day! Mr Lo asks if he’s been cut up by her, why is he still doing this?! The Chief says ‘we were hired to do a job, money up front’. And Lo asks for a day’s advance. GFL asks Mr Lei if his notes explain the relationship between Xie and Liu: would this be an urgent gift? Or some sort of insult?!
Mr Lei asks the Chief if Xie expected swift delivery, and the guard returns with day 1 of pay for all but the monk (but they make a donation to his monastery upkeep, or offerings of food etc.); the chief gets Wan Lang (his deputy) to answer other questions and retires after a refill and one last drink. We have a chat with guards and Wan Lang. Wan Lang would like a fairly quick departure, but we don’t have to take horses what with the expense and fact some of us can’t ride. We note the roads are ok - bandits, of course, and this time of year there’s plenty of daylight to get between inns. We prepare for first light departure but not before Mr Lei asks questions about Heartless Dagger, how she was alone, description of the attack, the weapon used, and notes the gestures were of slicing, not stabbing (more like how a sword would be used). He also asks if she fled town or is still around, but they don’t know. “Intriguing”...
...morning, we all make it back to the courtyard (Mr Lei has been asking around about Heartless Dagger) and Mr Lo has a bath! We head out on the raised road between paddy fields, for the day’s journey. During this journey nothing in particular happens, Mr Lei continues to ask about Heartless Dagger and if she’s been on the road. All he gets is that her and Sword Goddess are “friendly rivals”. Wan Lang is with us, gets out some catties out for drinks on the road. We toast regularly, and have nailed the first catty, so another gets handed out to share. Noone passes out from the hooch, phew.
We get to the inn - a meat and potato place, or the Chinese equivalent - people at tables shouting our orders; Wan Lang nods to the owner and points to a large table with people seated at but room for 5, so Wan Lang proposes more drinks. Delightful. We get another catty in each and Mr Lo passes out, with Gao and Lei looking a bit fuzzy too. We have one more round and Lei and Wan have had a skinful, and Gao isn’t far behind.
We put Lo in a room with Wan and the other 3 plus box take the other room. Sleeping very deeply and not sensing any trouble, but Mr Lo, who fell asleep first, wakes up in his bed but realises he is in an empty room. No Mr Wan, not that he knows he was in here. The light skims the horizon out of the window. He looks around at the unmade bed, nothing to see here, so he turns over and drops back off. He arises after his full slumber, stretches, feels great. He gets into the corridor and pops down to the common room for breakfast: fried rice and pu erh tea.
The other room wakes up: we all arise and we look to the box…….no box. Bugger. We go to the other room, no Lo or Wan. We go downstairs, Lo is eating rice, hasn’t seen Wan. Owner has! He left with the box!! The owner notes it’s been some 30mins since he left, and he didn’t go either towards Handan or Kaifeng, he headed West towards the forests! Lo finishes the rice, we all prepare to leave, and Groundskeeper FL suggests violence won’t be needed.
We head out to chase down Wan. Half an hour of fast running ahead we spot a person walking away from us into the forest, and it’s Wan with box. We chase Wan down but Wan hears us and speeds off too.
Chase!
Groundskeeper FL hears Wan ahead and picks up pace further, succeeding to close the gap slightly. Lo makes use of the trees to bounce around to take a most direct route, almost running Wan down, but he flips over a chasm, taking the box with him, always upright, most impressive. Mr Lei spots a tree he can push over to bridge the chasm Wan just vaulted, shoulderbarges the log and it drops to span our divide. Making use of this delay Wan pushes on, looking back but not running into a tree in the process; Gao then uses this tree to hop, skip and jump over the divide and run down Wan. Wan is getting puffed so tries to redouble their endurance, but is gassed out, and we begin to close the gap further as he trips, falls, and we close the remaining distance.
Mr Lei suggests as escort he had no need to flee from us, and Groundskeeper notes he’s running the wrong way: “with good reason” eh: ‘I need the money’. To keep his family now the Chief’s lost all his money. Groundskeeper asks who it’s being delivered to and Wan pulls out a medallion, asking GFL “do you know of the iron toothed bat king?”, and explains he was going to sell the bat for 10 gold pieces to him! The monk persuades him the error of his ways, to return the box and rejoin us on the road. He tells us about the family, 4 kids, yada yada, and return to the inn.
We get to a roadside wineshop: Wang’s roadside wineshop, an open air one, second barrel baiju and some poor noodle dishes (ironically, the rest of the food is very good!). The owner is quite friendly, but we see him out front looking worried surrounded by 4 people talking aggressively to him. They look hench and he’s being extorted for his money. We ask if they’re grumpy because of the noodles and they start pressing us for money instead.
Talking and Analysis commences……
The monk seems to think this is just about them paying for meals so suggests that’s what they do instead of instigating violence. He offers a buddhist epithet about being peaceful too. They ain’t buying it; meanwhile Mr Lo looks them over for weapons and see none. None at all, not clearly packing, but their upper body muscles suggests they are the weapons.
Combaaaaaat!
They move towards us bristling for a fight, and Groundskeeper Monk continues to sermonise at length; the enemies fan out and Lei says “is this to be a brawl then?” and unfolds his shirt, the hilts of his weapons showing. He draws two swords and charges who he perceives to be the leader, who repels but he also survives the counter. Another one steps to Gao, tries to jab and he grabs dirt and flings it in his eye, then uses his palm to land a strike, but not hard enough to land a blow as they crunch up. Mr Lo flings a dagger at one of the remaining people coming at us, and one steps up to fight the monk.
Mr Lei asks them their name and fighting style “for his epitaph” whilst Mr Lo spins his knife and tells his opponent he’s vastly inferior. Mr Gao threatens to bash his opponent’s head in whilst they threaten to bash the hump back into his back. Mr Lei offers his own name and says he knows everything that’s going on with Jinghua culture. His opponent is Wong Hoi Tou (sp). He even gets a proper bow and makes clear he’s a fearless boxer. Mr Lei says he looks forward to the fight, gets a come-on and the boxer takes guard. GFL meanwhile is standing very still and separating out the sounds of movement and chatter, anticipating the next move. We resume combat since noone talked us into peace!
Combaaaat
Mr Lo throws a knife - at his groin! - and lands a blow. This guy is seriously wounded. Lo draws another, and the wounded person springs up to riposte and box him into submission. He swings and misses as Lo teases him: “told you, mate…”. GFL hears Lo’s attack, senses the opponent is distracted, and swings his broom at the villain. It connects with a job into the solar plexus and knocks the fella down, gasping for breath. Gao tries to slap his opponent across the chops but they counter and clobber him badly. Lei is unaffected by an approach and hits by return.
More talking! We see one on their knees breathing wheezily, another with a knife wound, one brawling with Lei, and one with sand in their eyes. Lei talks up his fancy style and skills to his opponent in a bid to demoralise him, and they agree to call it off mutually, Lei having ‘bested’ his opponent.
More combaaaaaaat
GFL moves over to insert himself between Gao and the opponent, using his broom to try and “disarm” him - landing a blow but their boxing style allows the attack to deflect. Lo lands another knifeblow - this time in the eye - and this fellow dies, horribly. Gao lands another strike but fails to wound his opponent; Mr Lei suggests that the fighter on Gao/GFL is called off, but before that can happen Groundskeeper counters a blow aimed at him, sidesteps and brooms him in the crotch, putting the fellow on his knees. After very little talking, Lo collects his bloody knives and trots over to Mr Lei for a chat. Groundskeeper sees this fella is still spoiling so puts the guy on his ass. Combat ends!
Mr Wong looks wide-eyed at his dead friend, coming to terms with the sudden death of his boxing friend; Mr Lei proposes they find a more noble career path rather than shake down the shop owner, and Wong nods. Lei proffers a pamphlet offering a place to be taught and gain knowledge (that isn’t a Buddhist monastery). Wong asks “if they have food” and is told, “enough to live on”. He is thanked for the opportunity/”lesson”, gives another bow and asks if we’re going to handle the corpse since he has to carry the other two. Lei promises to bury him, whilst looking over at Lo, who’s cleaning the blood off his knives. Gao says he can handle a bit of earth-moving, whilst Lo shrugs; Wong fireman lifts his mates, one on each shoulder, thanks Lei for the ‘lessons’, Lei reciprocates and that is the end of that. Lo comments on the volume of Lei’s talking during combat, no less.
Mr Wang comes out and offers food on the house, but Gao politely suggests we can pay for the food. We get some catties of 2nd barrel baiju to help with the corpse hole digging. We drink half on the way, dig and bury, then drink more on the way back...and we’re both fresh as the daisies that guy is pushing up now. We sit at the bar, get pushed over some noodles, and suggest using the Obsidian Bat to help recover some of the wounds ravaging Gao. On this suggestion Wan looks very nervous - increasingly so - and GFL asks whether anyone has actually seen inside the box. We discuss further (GFL offering Wan an out to admit the problem). Lei asks Mr Wang if he’s ever heard of the Iron-Tooth Bat King, who confirms he’s one of the bandits in the general area. Lo asks Wang for a pry-bar to pop the nails on the box and returns, but fails to crack the thing - so hands the bar to Lei. It creaks but doesn’t give so we plead the monk to do it, and he does with but a tickle. Around the box are bundles of hay and a disc-topped bit of sand and Lo works his fingers around the box - nothing in particular besides the bat itself, with holes for incense &c. GFL lifts the burner out, and feels about (we note Wan looking even more nervous), and as he’s feeling the thing an odd ‘biting’ smell wafts up from the sand: smelling this, it actually smells of gunpowder. Very odd! GFL lowers it slowly and says “I don’t believe the Chief has been honest with us; it is full of black powder”. It doesn’t look like that to us, but must be further below. Lei and GFL strongly suggest not using it to light incense on it. Gao challenges Wan on this underhanded plan, who said he didn’t know ‘the full details’.
GFL asks what the source of this grudge between Chief and the Immortal Sword Goddess, and Wan proposes discussion elsewhere in a hushed voice. Wan suggests that it wasn’t dagger lady who cut Chief’s legs off, but was instead Immortal Sword Goddess (given the fact that the attack motion was swordplay rather than stabby). GFL also gets another whiff - not just gunpowder but perhaps some sort of drug, so GFL suggests it’s poisoned too: “Chief Ban Fei wanted to be extremely thorough”. Do we go back and accost the chief? Disarm the thing? Lo walks the thing out of the store about 20m, Lei persuades Wang to give him a tour. As Lo is pouring out the contents, the top layer does indeed give way to gunpowder, then finally some tarry substance - a mix of powder and some sort of horrid stuff, causing his nostrils to burn. Setting the burner down, Lo turns and walks back to the doorway. We persuade Wang to give up a spoon for scraping the remains out, and Gao has a go trying to scoop it all out, but only gets halfway through before he loses his gas, so Lo looks around at the blind monk and into Lei getting the tour, and decides to deal with it himself. Lei extracts a second spoon from Wang, and suggests Lei and Lo work on the poison together; they split a catty of baiju first for Dutch Courage, and step back over, scooping out the remains and using a cloth to wipe it out. The gunpowder-poison sits in the flowerpot nearby.
Lei suggests that we take the evidence to ISG, in case she commissions us to kill the chief by way of betrayal. Gao thinks humping poison and gunpowder all the way there is a ridiculous idea. But, sealing wax is procured and the nefarious goods are locked tight and popped in the box. We bag incense from Wang, head to Saizou [sp], and head to a tearoom with rooms, to hold up and heal up. Lei and Lo share another catty of second barrel baiju and toast their defusing of ordnance success: Lo nod off on the journey and Lei props him up. Gao asks GFL to help with the healing process: the incense is lit, Gao feel rejuvenated, but no immediate changes. We leave it going overnight, splitting into the same rooms as last time, and the next morning Gao is feeling a bit more sprightly.
However, Lei and Gao also suffer the ill effects of the noodles for 1 and 3 days respectively.
Miss Qing Yun, possible private investigator, tells Mr Gao a bog is an hour away then holds him for interrogation. She knows there’d been a skirmish but didn’t know who instigated or why, so Mr Gao hands over to Mr Lei and asks for more gory details before Lei and Gao nip to the weeds to have a crap, and GFL shares the info about the instigator being heartless dagger but unable to use a dagger properly? Odd. Mr Lo shares no further info and she asks to tag along for an hour. Despite going the other way back! (she also uses Heartless Dagger’s actual name either as respect or employer courtesy). She pumps Mr Lei for information on Heartless Dagger, and refines the details for him (and he shows his fan art). He once again missionizes for his fan club. As we approach the toilet and the end of the 1hr walk, she offers some information to give Heartless Dagger an alibi and proposes we should prove her innocence to receive a ‘favour’ from her (Mr Lo demands the price). She suggests her favour is most beneficial. We accept the deal, she explains where she’s come from was where Heartless Dagger was (hence the alibi). Mr Gao goes to the loo (again).
As we progress along the road we find a fallen tree trunk blocking the road, which has been dragged to block here. Weird! We suggest looking for banditos and clearing the road. We spot an adult hiding behind the trunk and it turns out there’s 3 of them: Mr Lo tells them to step aside, Mr Gao says we don’t want a fight, and GFL says we have nothing of value. One of the fellas - the gangleader? - bashes on about the head on trunk and then all 3 stand up. They’re triplets!
Thing 1 says “we are here under orders!” looks at Thing 3
Thing 2 says “yes! To get an item”.
Thing 3 agrees that they’re waiting here to see if the item falls into their lap, as ‘the item’ belongs to their ‘big boss’. “He is the number 1 martial artist in the world” - Mr Lei looks surprised at this, of course. He suggests Heartless Dagger would beg to differ.
They say the obsidian bat is in his image (so it’s Bat Tooth King!!). Mr Wan nods sheepishly.
He suggests we watch out for their heads - thick as bricks. Mr Lei studies their aura and says we can take them on no problem. Mr Gao warns them they don’t want what’s in the box, but they insist on having a look.
Mr Lei tries to persuade them Mr Wang in the noodle shack has it, then there’s someone in the long grass hiding, not falling for it at all. Lo says there is and Lei says maybe it’s their boss, and Lo yells over to the grass - and says he should come up. At this point, Mr Lei says we may be harmed, so Lo says we should harm them first
So Mr Lo flings a deer knife. It misses landing 2ft in front of the approacher. He shouts ‘don’t come closer - stay back!’ as if to warn them off, like it was a miss deliberately. Mr Lei and GFL try to preempt stuff by hearing advancers, and Mr Gao groans and holds his tummy and not a lot else.
Combaaaaaaaat
The figure in the grass gets up, dressed in a robe, then runs through the grass towards us. He introduces himself as the Iron-Tooth Bat King! He comes to bite Mr Lo! The teeth sinks in so GFL leaps over to intercede further, clubbing the Bat king over the head with a broom. Mr Lo pulls a knife from his belt and moves to stab the king in the head. One of the Things comes over and charges GFL head first. He easily sidesteps the chargedown. Mr Gao steps to the remaining Thing by the log and seeks to flat palm this guy in the solar plexus but it’s seen coming and the fella tenses up but in connecting, a gong bangs as if it’s metal on metal.
Thing 2 and 3 attack Lei and Gao, the first doing the battering ram charge which Lei avoids; thing 3 goes to headbutt Gao but gets a handful of sand in the eyes instead. Lei fails to counterattack with his butterfly swords.
Chat time
Mr Lei looks over and sees Mr Lo being bitten by his fella and is incredulous in asking if this is “the Number one warrior, the iron tooth bat king, he who bites?” and Mr Lo asks “are you a bat or a dog” ooh the burn. The bat king explains with a mouthful of Lo that the incense burner belongs to him by right. Thing 1 and 2 prepare to charge again on their targets as 3 gets sand out of his eye.
Thing 1 and 2: “don’t worry boss, we’ll get it for you!”
Moar Combat
ITBK flies at GFL, holder of the box, to get another bite off and wrest what he assumes is his trophy. Mr Lo, free of the bite, flings his nastiest dagger at ITBK. Mr Gao uppercut-palms sand-eyed Thing 3 in the plexus and dings him up real good. Thing 1 turns and charges GFL again, who dodges this and floors the bat king who gets broom-faced and drops out cold. Thing 2 goes for Lei again, and as he charges past goes in for a counter-attack, which lands - but the hardy fellow soaks it and Mr Gao is caught but also absorbs the hit.
More chat - thanks to GFL’s silky skills combat ends
They think since their original boss is down, they think GFL is the new boss. They come over and confirm he’s definitely now the boss. GFL suggests strongly that some medical care would be a good idea. They pick up the bat king and head off per recommendation on GFL’s suggestion to look for people to help: perhaps the local monastery needs some assistance.
We then have to drag the tree out of the road, which Gao starts on, and GFL chips in, whilst Mr Lei asks Wan whether ITBK really was going to pay Wan’s kids through college. Then we have a drink! We press on. We get to another overnight, burn up some incense and recover more wounds. Mr Lei keeps asking about about the immortal sword goddess - who allegedly also cut off her sibling’s feet and is generally cruel. Lei also hears the sword goddess was heading north to Handan recently...which suggests the alibi is true, eh?
There is a tall burly man on the road. He is asking people for news.
He has a high pitched voice.
Mr Lei offers to swap stories with the Burly Man. The BM tells Mr Lei that the whole of Han Dan has been destroyed. Mr Lei realises that this is incorrect.
They agree to sit together. Guo the Tiny Mouse is his name. We introduce ourselves to him. He is also known as the Forge God (Blacksmithing); he is good at smithing.
We ask about the immortal sword goddess, her hall/manor (across the river to the south), the fact any weapon in her hand can be a sword, then he gets excited as Mr Gao can use his palm of metal technique to work his smithing, so we head on the road with him. They seem to be collecting a lot of swords (an armory?) and also offers to swap our stories for his skills. Mr Guo confirms thousands of swords - thousands - all for disciples. GFL asks why so many swords, and how many disciples. Guo says there are hundreds of thousands of disciples over the world, and that they can use any item as a sword.
We settle for an evening in a tavern, do some drinking, get Mr Lo drunk enough to pass out, and now there are millions of swords at the hall. Tiny Mouse confirms Immortal Sword Goddess was travelling to Handan a day before the incident…Mr Wang confirmed this fact, and we receive the tidbit that the second spoon is the less dirty one (or was before we used that one to scrape poison off the bat incense thing). We survive another drinking roll
Mr Lei also asks about Heartless Dagger: who is apparently ‘further south’, Tiny Mouse confirms they’re rivals, and Mr Lei shows his pictures and Guo pours over them (mostly staring at the swords). Third catty, we have to down the whole thing in a toast! Mr Lei keels over, and Gao and GFL (who is entirely sober). After 6 catties, Gao finally slumps, GFL presumably shakes his head at this pile, and Guo offers GFL to carry us all up to our cots. GFL grabs one and Lei’s scrolls, and we head up 3 in a bed (drunks), one for Guo, one for GFL.
The drunkards dream vividly of looking around us at a wellspring coming out of a blasted landscape (white?), the spring causing a puddle. As we investigate in our dreams we feel the ground rumble and the wellspring burst massively, then settles again, flowing faster and turning the puddle into a pond. As we awake, we feel stronger!
The next morning we get up, reunite with Mr Wan and press on Southwards with Guo talking about the different swords he knows, gossip that he’s heard, and we cross the river towards Kaifeng but then branch off towards the immortal sword hall - in the distance we see an old buddhist temple, and Mr Guo says that’s the location - and he’s after a blacksmith forge as inspiration has struck: we should meet him at the East Gate restaurant, the best place in town for food - letting the chef use his wok hei to guide our meal choice. He takes his leave of us and we turn back to the former temple - abandoned, clearly not used for its original purpose, some buildings have been repaired and redesigned.
As we approach the temple, there are two women in gold and blue flanking the door. This is the uniform of the disciple, and we make introductions, then one heads inside to introduce us. As we enter 3 more disciples are seated on chairs, a couple of bodhisattva statues, some old tables and chairs etc. and one gets up and leads us into the courtyard. More shrubs, statues, trees etc, and some people tending ground. We study a statue - dusty and unkept - of buddha. In the main courtyards are 30 disciples wielding swords (and wearing them) and are sparring/training. Mr Lei watches as we walk past, noting a pagoda with multi levels of training (the higher level being for more advanced people).
We reach the middle of the space - living space, communal space, and then into a main courtyard, entirely empty bar one woman conducting sword drills. She sheathes it as we approach and turns to face us. Mr Wan looks uncomfortable but Gao does not scry in him any recognition he’s seen her before. Mr Lei recognises this to be her (albeit more impressive than his fan art). He introduces himself, our business and the delivery. She walks forwards and says “thank you for the trouble of bringing this to me, what is it?” Mr Lei confirms its nature, and GFL unslings the chest, placing it on the ground in front of him. She asks whether it’s custom for couriers to open and tamper with the goods. Mr Lei scrambles an excuse - to wit, it was packed full of explosives - and we can offer to reveal these too. If scrutinising the contraband helps show what a snake the delivery originator was. She asks for more information and we confirm GFL sniffed out the trouble. Mr Lo pries open the chest and extracts the jar of poison-explosive and places it in the courtyard, backing away a safe distance. Mr Lo also removes the incense burner. She asks if the incense burner is legit and Mr Gao confirms that’s the case (recounting the short test run we gave it). She picks up a blade of grass and charges Mr Gao, who seeks to dodge and fails terribly, wounding him deeply. She points back at the bat and suggests we show how it works - promptly - since Gao is slashed from shoulder to sternum. Mr Lo suggests we repair to a space - the main temple building (untouched, but the statue is dusty of Bodhisattva Guanyin). We leave the poison in the courtyard confirming its nature (green goop, bad smelling). She instructs us in fact to keep it in our custody. We’re allowed to hole up in this temple noting the pagoda next door with 10 seats for a lovely meal.
We overnight in the temple, using the obsidian bat to make Mr Gao’s grass-cut better, and he feels moderately improved overnight! We eat delicious breakfast left by persons unknown - pretty nice - then wander around trying to find anyone. Mr Lei wants to fill a kettle, Mr Lo pockets some extra food just to have some near him, and GFL seems to think things are unusually quiet. We look in some living spaces and they’re empty. Very odd! GFL wonders if they’ve gone for a walk. Mr Lei walks around looking for people or info and pockets a lychee from a tree belonging to the Immortal Sword Goddess. Mr Lei pops his kettle on the stove and relights the fire, but only makes it smoulder. Mr Lo chucks some daggers around but there’s no response to the noise or weaponry being thrown, despite multiple shuttle runs of chucking.
After a couple of hours of scouting around and wondering where people are we decide to head into Kaifeng, maybe, but Mr Lo is concerned that we may affect the healing experiment or come off as rude. Mr Gao tries to remember if we were admonished not to leave, but all he can remember is her ranking (#10) and they are both arrogant and chivalrous. Lunchtime rolls around so we help ourselves to leftover breakfast (congeealed stuff, dried stuff, cold fried cuttlefish) and whilst Mr Lei walks to the road to see what’s what he directs Mr Gao to the kitchen to make tea. GFL goes with Mr Lei as Gao makes water boil.
From a significant distance (20mins walk back to main road), GFL and Mr Lei spot 8 people: a group of 6 surrounding 2 others, with raised voices - indiscernable but sounds argumentative. Mr Lei wonders if they have news of the sword goddess! Mr Lei from this distance notices several are armed with clubs. (around this time Gao and Lo finish their tea and wander out to find Lei and GFL). The 2 seem to pass through eventually after heated discussion.
As they see GFL/Lei approach they fan out and block the road. After a back and forth about ‘new from Kaifeng’ (“you can go there yourself”), yet they’re blocking the road, Mr Lei walks towards them and they continue to block his tracks. GFL steps off the road into the long grass yet they continue to block the way, most rude. Ah, so Mr Lei establishes the toll and navigation/guidance fees for crossing their path. Mr Lei asks pointedly about Immortal Sword Goddess and what they make of that - and her temple (looking pointedly at GFL) but they aren’t picking up what he’s putting down. The ones blocking GFL’s way make the point Mr Lei could ‘donate’ to let GFL through (noting he won’t have money). GFL retreats 10ft and they stay put. He then charges straight at them, planning to leap over them. He soars like a bird above them, clearing them easily from 10ft out. As he passes over their heads he informs them “obstacles do not block the path, they are the path”. Landing some 50ft behind, he turns and waits expectantly for their response. Everyone looks amazed (not that GFL knows), and they stow their clubs, and pull their bows from their backs. The others turn to Lei and say the tax still stands, but as yet no action from any.
Uh oh! Gao and Lo spot this interplay from some distance and break into a run to catch up.
Mr Lo asks Lei how it’s going (he gets a whisper “I think these people are bandits!”) and Mr Gao is amazed by GFL’s amazing flights. They continue the shakedown demand and we stand firm.
Combaaaaat
GFL listens out for an arrow being strung, whilst Mr Lei persuades them that ‘if GFL can do that just imagine what the rest of us can do’; Mr Lo flashes his knife hilts to try and psyche them out, dropping it, and Mr Gao yells at them to stow the bows - one looks shaky but the others ready themselves with whatever weapons they have: bows, a quarterstaff, clubs, a former pitchfork tool sharpened into a pikelike.
Lo chucks his knife at a bowman, hitting nicely; as GFL hears the arrow strung he leaps forwards again (back at the bowmen), and uses the brush of his broom to obstruct the string of the bow, then the back end of the broom loops around and smashes him in the back of the head. One goes for Gao who chucks sand in their eyes and hits back, wounding one. Mr Lei assesses their classless, styleless actions and shakes his head at the ensuing fight, dodging an attack, whilst another lands a strike on GFL, wounding him with an arrow which clips GFL.
Then another engages Lei and misses too, before a bowman attacks Mr Lo and flies an arrow wide.
Mr Lei, still shaking his head, spins round holding butterfly knives, turning them on an opponent and causing significant damage. The final wounded bowman, having found bow jammed and been hit by GFL, drops it and pulls a club to set about him.
Chatting!
Mr Lei asks scornfully if they even know martial arts and who they face. One spits and says ‘they took away our livelihoods, it’s why we became bandits’. Mr Gao points out they look worse for wear than we do, and they should perhaps back off. Mr Lo doesn’t go in for chit chat or showing off, and just lobs another knife…
Combaaaaaat
GFL absolutely floors one of the bowmen - an unharmed one - in a single blow; having responded to being shot by him, GFL leaps over, gets up past the stock of the bow, jabs the broom in his guts, clubs each temple and sweeps the leg before landing. Mr Gao watches on in amazement, then turns to slap his opponent but the distraction at GFL’s amazing leaps cause him to miss. Mr Lo hops off-road to get a lower arc on his target then flings a knife - connecting with a thunk. This surprisingly enrages rather than fills them with fear and one charges Mr Lei, causing notable damage. It transpires their unpredictable, uncouth form makes them impossible to counter, but he is unwounded by this affront. Gao’s opponent gets re-sanded. Finally the club-man (former bowman) seeing his downed friend, tries for GFL (to no avail?)
More talk
Mr Lei makes clear their uncouth abilities are not the route to enlightenment but more likely a road to premature death. Mr Gao suggests we’ll leave them alone for a silver piece.
Combaaaaaaaat!
GFL whips past his club-ex-bowman and absolutely clubs him, leaving him face down in the mud. Meanwhile Mr Lo considers his angles, thinks he might have the high ground, dives out of the long grass, traverses the road to dive into the other ditch and flings a knife at the bandit next to Mr Lei, causing significant damage. Mr Gao stops gawping at GFL and turns to slap down the guy in front of him, causing a loud crunch. Despite being strongly wounded the last standing person lands a devastating blow on Mr Lei, flooring him - the club blows his eardrums out. Down he goes…
Little time for talk…
Gao kills the guy stone dead and moves to stabilise Mr Lei, spotting the blood running out of Lei’s ears.
Combat ends:
Mr Lo pulls both knives out of the two he knifed, effectively finishing those two off, and Mr Gao points over to the fellow he knocked out in case GFL wants to stabilise him. GFL does stabilise the first opponent, then goes over to see to the other who requires a lot more work (assuming he is blind from the orbital crunch). Having retrieved his knives, Lo pats down the bodies for the silver they hustled, finding but 2 silver taels and 40 coins from the others (240 total coinage).
Gao and GFL make rudimentary graves, plant a staff in each and after trying to get brushes off Mr Lei (no success) Mr Lo uses a deer knife to try and write “here lie two bastard bandits who didn’t know who to shakedown”. Surprisingly despite the tool, the stick and the circumstances it comes out pretty well!
We walk back to the sword hall/manor and we hear (those who can) and we see bustling of disciples, looking for things. Mr Lei observes how busy it is! “Everyone’s back!” Loudly! The disciples note us and gesture wildly, and we’re led through to the temple we were occupying. We are escorted, fairly surroundedly, towards the temple. Halfway between, the doors of the temple open and a disciple flies backwards out of the doors (having been ejected from the room) and the Sword Goddess leaves, accusing us of being thieves and assassins. We slow her roll and she says the bat is gone and someone planted a poison bomb in her room!! Mr Lei wonders what a poison plum is, mind.
We realise Mr Wan - who had left that evening - wasn’t with us today, and could perhaps have stolen the bat again and planted the bomb. Mr Gao rapidly unloads the fact that Mr Wan has absolutely stolen it, planted the bomb and made off, and thankfully does enough to persuade her of this fact and we’re told to fetch the bat back within the next 24hrs. We leave the mansion and look for sign he headed across country to Kaifeng, but it’s unclear - if he took the road though, he’s an hour ahead...oh dear.
Doorway to north of manor has lots of returning feet along a dirt track: if Wan went that way he’d have to have left before they returned. Also he’d have to cross a single bridge over the river. Instinct tells us he may return to Handan, we’d have seen if he was going to Kaifeng. We decide to hustle ahead north along the dirt road and try to get ahead of him if he was going slower across country. And ask people along the way if they’ve seen a thieving wanker carrying a box.
The first people we stop don’t seem to understand we’re after Wan, not Handan, but a mile up the road there are some people with a cart, eh, so we press on. As we round a corner we see an oxen-drawn wagon with a tarp over it - looks like it’s storing something under the tarps. Boxes and other things. Doesn’t look like it’s carrying delicious ices like mini-milks :’(
The oxen is being ridden by someone wearing a conical hat suited to farming types around here, rather than a witches hat, a dunce cap or a bishop’s mitre. Mr Gao hails them as ‘ox man’, they pull over and Mr Gao finds out she’s a woman, so apologises and asks if she’s a Oxen (year of), turns out she’s a Pig. She hasn’t seen Mr Wan. Mr Lo meanwhile nicks a catty each, some tea for GFL and some jerky and hops off the cart noting no contraband we’re after. So we press on. One other tarped cart is similarly investigated, yielding grain, but we press on further past other carts. Further up we see a lone figure walking northwards at a standard pace, and Mr Gao diving tackles Mr Wan, bringing him down (and on top of Gao himself). He’s spluttering as he goes down, and hits the deck wheezing. We ask him where the bat is and he thinks we have it, well the sword goddess. Oh dear. He’s also not as far up the road as a thief might be (we’ve been running an hour, and they could be 1.5hrs up the road).
Mr Gao proposes to drag Wan back to the Goddess and run him through, which doesn’t solve the issue of where the bat is. We recall that if we can find an alibi/evidence that Heartless Dagger didn’t do it, we might ingratiate ourselves with her, and thereby defend ourself against Sword Goddess’s onslaught against us. Mr Lei asks Wan why he thinks Sword Goddess cut his boss’s leg off, and he says the dagger being used as a sword. Mr Lo asks for bamboo slips and a brush and takes notes. Mr Wan didn’t actually see Sword Goddess and is basically pouty about the destruction of the company. Mr Wan agrees for a silver tael, to return to the manor, for Wan finger the person who actually did the job (if indeed it was the Sword Goddess). From a safe distance. Mr Lei suggests we wait overnight and break back into the Sword Manor, look for a journal or something that shows she may have done it, all of these sound very convoluted.
Then Mr Lei remembers he has some pictures of Sword Goddess which are fairly accurate - from the pictures Mr Wan says there’s a 60% chance it’s her. He then shows her Heartless Dagger - Mr Wan notes her beauty and specifically that her dagger grip seems very unlike how the person chopping his boss’s legs off works. Mr Wan then takes the brush off Mr Lo to write down the address in much more flowing ideographic script than our street urchin could muster.
Mr Lei racks his brains to remember everything we’d worked through in knowledge up to this point, and to establish what Wan also knows/knew. Lei also asks about when the Iron-Tooth Bat King approached Wan: Wan approached the King knowing his fetish for bats. The party are perplexed by who knew the bomb was in there (Wan didn’t apparently). GFL supposes that the suggestion alone that so-and-so was going round murdering escort company civilians would be a loss of face and therefore worthy of provocation and response?
Options abound:
GFL thinks 3 is the only method that doesn’t involve running and avoiding her. Also worth noting that her reaction to seeing us was to say ‘thieves’ - yet the day before she wanted to see evidence it worked (she didn’t wait for that evidence). Very odd! We decide to head back, and perhaps interrogate some neighbours to check if the Goddess leaves every day: yes, to medidate, up to the river! Just the morning till lunchtime. We decide that if we’re really lucky we’ll find the incense burner stashed somewhere in the Manor, and Wan (who asks why he’s still involved) is coming for insurance and to check if she was the one who murdered his agency. We meditate, have quite an evening, stay at a farmer’s place 20mins away and get up with the dawn.
Mr Lo sneaks into the woods and watches to wait till sword goddess’s peeps leave. They all seem to traipse out of the north door and are fully accounted. Mr Lo signals to us, Mr Lei nudging GFL, who thanks his deaf friend. We head round the front of the building and Mr Lei advocates for ‘reasonable stealth’ despite the fact the place was totally empty the day before at this time. We split up to search, Lei going to Sword Goddess’s room, Gao watching Wan. Lo checks the lower disciple rooms (F), no bats anywhere. Lei’s room browsing doesn’t resort to sniffing Sword Goddess’s underwear, but pokes around spotting 3 actual swords on the wall, but surmises this probably isn’t her room. He takes the stairs up to a room above, spanning the entire floorplan (the floor below being 3 rooms), and some curtained off areas including sleeping arrangements. The middle of the room has a seat for meditating. He looks at the aura of the place (esp the chair), considers sniffing the cushion but just sits in the seat.
Mr Gao meanwhile takes Mr Wan to the temple we were in, and pushing the door open, gets a waft of incense - the bloody thing is still in there! Burning! Mr Gao calls for everyone else, well except Lei who doesn’t hear us. They gather and Gao points out the burner is there all along and the box of explosives...so neither have been moved. What’s with this “someone stuck explosives under my bed” malarkey. Mr Lo grabs the burner and heads towards the exit. He first of all heads up the steps to Sword Goddess’s room and wanders up to try and track down Lei. He shows the bat off, and Lei asks if we also found evidence of the Handan massacre (Lo points out that was Lei’s job if he hadn’t been meditating, sigh). Lo pops the bat down and takes a look around.
In a bin in one of the corners of the room, Lo finds a disposed-of-dagger. Lo picks it up and notes it’s bloody. He shows it to Lei, then pops the bat under his arm and shows the dagger to Mr Wan. He asks Wan to identify the blade and it kind of looks right, he thinks, but….why bring it all the way back to bin it? Bizarre.
We opt to leave with the bat so we can ‘return triumphantly’. But what to do with the explosives? Controlled detonation? Pack back into bat? Something else?? Well, we indeed leave with the bat. After some time and we see them re-enter, the disciples view us with surprise! But lead us back in. We are led back to the Goddess, tapping her foot impatiently, and the disciples withdraw. Ever so politely, Lo returns the bat incense burner to him. She asks where we found it and Lo spins a yarn about how it was just some common brigand, who has now been dealt with. Gao also walks back his accusation it was Wan and asks he isn’t harmed as a result of his mistake. She says since we’re capable, and able to admit our errors, she’d like to hire us! Mr Gao is very excited about this, in exchange for the hire and perhaps a night with the burner to feel right as rain again. Mr Lei agrees and Gao yells “IT WON’T FIX YOUR HEARING” causing Sword Goddess to flinch; Gao apologises and explains he’s now deaf. Sword Goddess says the job is to meet Heartless Dagger, explain she has somehow affronted her and wants to know why. Lo asks incredulously “how?!” and SG explains “she sent me a tainted gift and, for some reason, attacked an escort company”. Lo proclaims ‘it wasn’t her! According to my mate over here’ pointing at Wan. Lo goes on ‘apparently whoever did it used a dagger like a sword’, then Wan uses his coded message “It’s very hot here under the sun” [i.e. this is the person who stabbed us up”]. So Lo changes tack and says ‘but I don’t subscribe to such gossip’ and with two raised eyebrows SG apparently likes Lo’s moxie.
Lei asks if Sword Goddess has had any contretemps with Heartless Dagger recently. Given how frowned upon a higher rank attacking a lower rank this seems unlikely (so GFL’s theory this is all a provocation of Heartless Dagger by Sword Goddess all along - from self-posting a weaponised burner, killing the escorts, and so forth. Mr Wan really wants to get out of teh hot sun, and with a pat of the pocket with the tael in, he settles up. Apparently Heartless dagger has been heading downriver south east to another town (Aotown). Lo and Wan make their scrape and grovels and head to Kaifeng. Sword Goddess confirms a boat will be prepared with grain being shipped anyway, so we can tag along on that. Mr Gao proposes to hang about with the incense burner all day and night.
When Lo and Wan have left, Lo hands over the tael and offers another 25 coins to speak to Qing and confirm who he witnessed killing the couriers. And indeed the bloody dagger! More evidence. GFL and Mr Lei follow on from Lo/Wan. They all head to Kaifeng and make enquiries to contact Miss Qing. At the evening meal they attend a restaurant, and Miss Qing approaches their table. She notes Mr Wan has provided his witness statement and she notes ‘evidence’ and Lo flourishes the bloody dagger too. Mr Lei toasts “to the truth!”. Mr Lo also toasts “to new friends!” and we’re apparently leveraging Miss Qing to get us an introduction to Heartless Dagger for us to relay information promptly. Qing says ‘next she’s in the area I’ll arrange but it’ll be a while, I’m just off to head to be by her side’. Since she’s going this way Lei and GFL propose she comes for a boat ride with us. Qing seems open to this! They toast again to travels and travellers.
We reassemble at the temple in the manor, and heal up. In the morning we’re fully healed and the Sword Goddess takes us northwards towards the river, shows us to the grain boat, and we push off, meeting Qing at the stone bridge north of Kaifeng. As we head on we level up in power, no less.
We have a couple of weeks of sojourning - along the way Mr Lo nicks some tolls from a bridgekeeper, Mr Lei draws some more fan art, and we make it all the way to Shanghai, delivering the grain - but now have to get to Aotown further along the coast (nb the dialect in Aotown is slightly different and needs a bit more time to parse). Qing hoofs it whilst we have no conveyance and Mr Lei spots a fancy martial artist (not fancy enough to make the top 10). Rumours of ‘things down the coast’? Apparently one in the Black Owl village is in the top 10. The Langpiao clan (the other side of Hangzhou) also has some martial artists with some internal feuding. There’s a cult nearby too with a founder renowned for reincarnating into various beings (sounds like Zeus, kinda, only that wasn’t reincarnation and it was mostly for sex). Mr Lei organises us a seaboat to traverse the coast, well at least, he has to pick someone to talk to to do so. He sits down to order some food in the meantime, grabbing a noodle bar option and then goes to sit at a circular workers table. Noone engages the obvious tourist in conversation, the crews are busy and the dockworking teamsters stand out too, although on other boats there are clearly ‘directors’ moving stock around. Mr Gao decides to approach a wee boat and see what a charter runs too - for some labour and 2 silver taels, they’ll push off in 2hrs! Not bad.
Mr Gao tells Mr Lo it’s one silver or labour on board, and gets flicked a tael, then lets Mr Lei know there’s a charter for 50 coins; as he heads off to find Qing Mr Lo tries to nick the money back off him, but fails, so goes on a pickpocket spree elsewhere on shore. GFL and Gao meet Qing to apprise her of the plan, and she finishes up her dim sum before joining us (after a tea toast). Gao buys food for a few days for everyone and staggers back to the boat ready for departure.
Meanwhile Mr Lei watches some sparring going on in the area, continuing to feed his obsession (1: martial arts, 2: fan art). He hands out some pamphlets and watches the local style. Mr Lei discovers that Tiny Mouse is acquainted with the Eunuch (who leads Bureau 4, one of the government institutions in Shanghai - seems a bit shady).
Mr Gao and GFL come back to the boat, sharing the food load (some of which was free to GFL), and Mr Lo takes the opportunity whilst Mr Lei distracts the martial artists to pick pockets. Alas they spot this and seize his wrist, calling “Thief!” (“attempted thief!” - actual thief as apparently he’s gathered 100 coins during his time at harbour). They draw a blade suggesting they’re going to cut off Mr Lo’s hand...so he warns them to cry off or regret things. He says “I’m the law here, this is the rule of Shanghai”. Mr Lo asks for a fair trial, and then uses his knife to parry the blow intending to remove his hand. Mr Lo indeed breaks this attack.
Skills time! Can Mr Lo retain his hand! Can Gao and GFL load the boat up and finalise passage before they realise the rogue Lo is one of us? Will Mr Lei watch Mr Lo get cut up, intercede, or merely marvel at the scimitar play?
GFL and Gao are wandering in to the harbour so we indeed hear the “thief!” cry and the metallic ching and parry. A mix of ‘oh no, not again’ and some rushing to see the action / get out of the way of the main melee. GFL uses the crowd noise to navigate around the crowd and not get run over. Meanwhile Mr Lo persuades the sword wielder that he was really trying to get a spider off his arse, and by buying him a drink all this can be worked out. Alas, this doesn’t get the reaction Lo desires, and gets charged at again, and Lo dodges out of the way, continuing to pepper the air with excuses. Rather than deftly weave through the crowd, Gao plows through them, getting bumped around and loses a few things which are scattered. Very annoying! Mr Lei steps forward to the muscley dockworker near him and whispers in his ear “you see! This is what I was talking about earlier, see the poise of my glamorous man, and how he carries himself”...his teachings are being well heeded! Notes are taken of fancy Lo’s skills and of Lei’s wisdom being imparted. He also throws shade at the guards’ clumsiness. GFL springs through the air, landing deftly onto the junk, as the boxes click back together after their brief flight. The skip and helper seem quite surprised by this, and GFL greets them politely. Mr Lo then tries to break the sword being swung at him, but in pulling his knife accidentally pulls his fancy one, which takes him by surprise and causes him to fail to destroy the weapon in front of him. Mr Gao shouts at some of the jostlers to pick up the boxes that were spilled, and two of them relieve his load and clear a path to the junk. Mr Lei, spotting the lack of grace, makes his shoulders sag and he sighs, reminding students that even the most impressive jianghu can make an error and the need to keep clear heads.
The captain notes the commotion and says “we’re leaving NOW” and pulls away! Gao and GFL are on the boat and Gao calls for Lei, Lo and Qing to move post-haste. Obviously Lei doesn’t hear this. The boat is currently running parallel to the jetty but it’ll still take a heck of a leap. GFL leaps over, gathers up Mr Lei and springs back to the boat. Mr Lo meanwhile continues to parry attacks, then springs over to the boat. Mr Gao catches him (deftly) and tries to pick his pocket (badly). Mr Lo laughs at the terrible attempt and gives some pointers to Mr Gao. Mr Lei opens his eyes from his meditative state, sees the blue sky and feels weightlessness...but doesn’t realise he’s flying headlong at a boat. Whilst GFL is ready to land safely, Lei continues bound missile-like at the deck. He is welcomed by Captain Ocean to the ‘floating junk’. Gao notes we’re one short and then turns to see Qing running to the end of the dock then skimming the water before boarding the ship, and as she passes the skip a silver coin Gao tosses in 150 coins more to round out the full fare (and in the process sneak us a wee discount).
We set sail! We trawl nets, haul fish, stop in coastal towns and hear rumours, very shanty life. Mr Lei extracts a name in the gossip of ‘the bone physician’ - in the town before Black Owl town. The physician is helping treat some people. Lei asks for more information on the physician, and the address of where the physician is currently helping out, so Lei can track down the physician, and waits patiently outside (if fidgeting and handwringing). Mr Lo is trying to nick fish we ourselves landed as Gao is helping unload stock. After 15mins wait an old man with a white beard comes out of the house, comforting a woman leaving the space. Mr Lei gushes as he meets the Bone Physician in person (having checked his fan art for likeness), and Lei explains how he wants to become one with everything through learning from people such as the Bone Physician, and they pontificate about nooks, crannies, oceans of knowledge instead of lakes, and a lot of other testiculating. The Bone Physician invites him to walk along towards the docks, alongside to keep the conversation flowing. He also asks if we’re heading south, and whether we’ll stop at Black Owl town, and asks if he can hitch a lift. Note meanwhile Qing has gone off investigating a villa nearby with some other martial art folks.
Mr Lei returns to the dock and finds the captain in intense debate haggling over the price of fish, and Mr Lei trots over, sits down and says the Bone Physician would like a ride. The skipper doesn’t miss a beat of haggling, but Lei proceeds about what an honour it’d be for the floating junk to carry such a fella who’s bound to offer some sort of favour in return. The skip suggests Mr Lei getting 2 taels for all this fish would be a good start. Apparently these “annoying pricks” have “screwed [him] over before”. Mr Lei haggles it up to 110 slowly but after some more smooth talking gets 150 + cattys of baiju. Living the dream. After some bickering about another passenger the skipper realises Lei is talking about the Bone Physician! Skip runs over, bows and scrapes, explains what an honour it is for HMS Seaworthy to transport such an esteemed guest.
As we’re pushing away, the Bone Physician steps to the side and suddenly a crossbow bolt slams into the deck where he’d been standing; he leans over and says solicitously to Mr Lei that this seems to be a great learning opportunity - and especially one about the Jianghu...it appears some bandits are coming towards the floating junk. The Bone Physician proposes straight chilling, taking notes, and watching us fight. Mr Lei calls Mr Lo to action, who’s still stewing about his poor performance on shore a couple of days ago. The bolt came from 4 bandits who clearly heard Lei shouting noisily about having 150 coins and two cattys of baiju, so we’re roused to combat!
There are 4 people - 2 with crossbows, one person reloading, the other 2 with sabres and advancing on us. We note sabres are typically military/law enforcement, and Mr Gao castigates them for firing without cause or warning.
Combat!
Mr Gao charges up and tries to slap up a sabre wielder, connecting furiously with multiple slaps about the brow whilst impugning their honour. Crossbow person 1 fires on Mr Lei, a bolt shoots him in the shoulder, and he falls forward, going mute in the process. Mr Lo sees this then arcs a knife into the shoulder of the archer.
The sabre wielder in Mr Gao’s face fights back but gets sand in the face instead. GFL listens to these sounds (thud, slap, bolt, dirt, knife, argh, sand, swoosh), and floats over to the swordsman engaging Mr Gao and clobbers him just as hard with his broom round the back of the head, and blessingly floors but does not end the breath. Sabre rattler remaining comes over to Gao and gets sand in the face too and the archer then takes up arms against GFL. Outrageously this arrow drops GFL.
Discussion
The bone physician is in paroxysms of hilarity at our activity, springs and in one gentle leap lands next to Mr Lei, looks down, ruffle his hair, smile, pulls a potion and feeds it to Mr Lei, who suddenly comes awake at the potion warming him, the meridiens bursting with energy and he springs back. Mr Gao criticises their lack of honour for downing priests now, and the swordsperson standing (a woman) glowers and says we shouldn’t mess with Bureau 8.
Combaaaaaat
Mr Lo arcs another dagger to the archer who floored Lei, arcing the dagger around the bolt being charged, and it slices open the throat as it moves past, they’re down big time. Lady swordsperson misses again and gets more sand in the eye and the remaining archer goes for Lo, ramming a bolt into him and making him fall flat. Mr Gao slaps up the swordsperson again, leaving her breathless; meanwhile Mr Lei spins to his feet, whips a dagger from Mr Lo’s bandolier, flicks it at the archer and adopts a limbo-meets-breakdancing attempt to ensure the opponent keeps vantage.
Further Discussion
The bone physician then looks enraptured at the beauty of Mr Lo, shakes his head again and then looks down on GFL’s prone form; picking up the broom he gazes down, peels the bandage off to look at his eyes, then jabs him in multiple acupuncture points, reviving GFL much as if a potion did so. Mr Gao grabs the swordsperson by her shoulders, shakes her and says to cry off lest Mr Lo cut her guts out, but she’s not getting the message through the head-fuzz and sand-eye static.
Mr Lei’s top bursts forward and he draws both blades and wields them at the archer in an intimidating fashion.
Moar Combaaat
Mr Gao lands another blow but they soak that one up even as they continue to be sandy-eyed, as GFL reclines on the floor. Mr Lei strikes out at the archer with extreme vengeance, leaving them reeling and almost down and out; dropping the crossbow they take up sabres and strike out at Mr Lei without major success.
Talkies!
The bone physician trots over and watches the blood pool around Mr Lo, as he slowly expires, analysing this fleeting view of morbidity. He reaches over to the bolt and shapes as if to twist/remove the bolt, Mr Gao asks him if he’s accredited as a first aider (apparently so, a member of the Imperial College of Bone Physicians, keeping people safe in life and death); Mr Lei glowers more and GFL continues his repose.
Even more combatitiveness
GFL moves over to Mr Lo to stabilise the poor fella; the two remaining standing swordspeople (one an ex-archer) strike out at Gao and Lei, Gao finally getting clobbered, dinging him up, and Mr Lei takes a strike which he soaks up. Lei then ripostes, laughing (mutely) and striking back with force, ending this ex-archer, ex-swordperson, ex-person. Sabre and forearms clatter to the floor, and Lei watches this person as they drop, unable to hold themselves up as they lost both arms in the blow. Mr Gao misses cleanly in an increasingly desperate attempt to attack the remaining swordsperson.
Discussions?
The bone physician, enjoying GFL’s antics, looks back at Mr Gao - seeing a really poor attack - and runs over to land his own shot on this sabre-rattler. He places his palm gently on her back as she faces away from him and Gao sees her eyeballs roll back to the whites as she begins convulsing, frothing at the mouth and she keels over. Turning to Mr Lei, he gestures and says “Come! You need to drink this”. Mr Gao taps the bone physician on the shoulder and makes clear Lei is deaf as a post so needs to be seen. The physician comments how good a lip-reader he is and then shuffles over to Mr Lo, twiddling the embedded crossbow bolt. GFL continues in stabilizing Mr Lo, whose eyelids flutter open as GFL removes the bolt and bandages him up. The bone physician sits nearby, soaking up the show and looking mildly disappointed. Mr Gao can’t tell why. Maybe because of Mr Gao’s terrible shots landed, maybe it’s not seeing Mr Lo die, whatever. Then the physician prepares to head back to HMS Seaworthy, and Mr Gao suggests since some of us can’t run it’s best we get back on the boat. Mr Lei sheathes his sword and ties up his shirt. Mr Gao collects up the daggers that were rightly Mr Lo’s. Mr Lo spots a missing one (which Mr Lei used, no less!). He watches as the bolt in Mr Lei’s throat is rejected from the body within and without, and looks horrified at this interplay, and Mr Lo asks “are you good?” to which he gets a wheezy whistle, followed by a shrug. Mr Lo says “hope you get better! You have had a couple of rough days”. Mr Lo then moves to loot and says he’ll meet us on the boat. So we head back to HMS Seaworthy, Mr Gao pumping the Physician for info on whether he’s a fan of death or life more, and gets an invite back to his village downcoast; Mr Lo picks pockets, spotting one stunned person in the process, and we get onto the boat and head towards Black Owl Village.
On the junk we have a quick powwow, Mr Lo sharing that Lei having been shot in the throat is, as GFL puts it, ‘uncharacteristically quiet’. GFL is impressed at him still being alive. Mr Gao remembers the potion down the throat, as GFL muses how we’re losing senses by the day. Mr Lo is counting coins, and then wanders over to the bone physician with these coins in his cupped hands, and Mr Lo then asks for assistance from the physician for his friend, offering 150 coins in exchange for assisting with the muteness of Lei. The bone physician notes we’re on the way to his village where we’ll rest up, so all of the niceness is yet to be seen and perhaps we’ll come again no less. He waves away the money and says ‘any friend of Mr Lei will be a friend of mine to stay’. Note the skip and mate are keeping their distance from the obviously insane bone physician. Dusk falls and as we hug the coastline we see lamplight come on, and the boat steers towards them. As we pull into harbour, the lamps clearly are placed to show where to land and as we look upcoast we see more lights in buildings and the Black Owl Village (presumably). As the boat hits the shore, the skip pulls it up to ground it for the night and the bone physician hops off the boat and walks at a leisurely pace up towards village.
Mr Gao asks about the skip and mate as to whether they’ll join us in the village; they overheard that since we’ll be in Owl Village for a while to rest up, so they ask if they can head off to Shanghai the next morning and we will walk a few days to Aotown. We get a partial refund since our fare wasn’t completed in full, and we gather up our remaining boxes of food and prepare to follow the physician towards his village; we note everyone comes to their door paying their respects to him saying they hope the journey was good, are these your guests, we get invitation to reside etc. etc., very cordial (obsequious even), and as we reach a big building he gestures and turns to us, saying “this is our village’s inn - not many travellers nowadays but I’m sure Mr Liu will be able to help you here.” Mr Liu and the physician have a chat and he pays board for us, Mr Lo first and the remainder for us, and we’re fine to stay as long as we need: at least a week, as we have a dinner invitation then, and the innkeeper shows us in as the Bone Physician ambles off to his own residence. We are offered food and drink, hooray!
We go to a private dining area to get some food and booze in us, and Mr Gao mentions that one of them growled about ‘Bureau 8’. Mr Lei happens to have a pamphlet! Based in Hangzhou and part of the ministry of justice, they’re at odds with 4 from Shanghai. Very secretive, they hire constables, many of whom operate in groups of 4 recruited from the Jianghu. Answering to a chief constable, and noting that in order to maintain secrecy they require to be well-funded, so ‘investigate’ people for ‘various things’ and aren’t averse to dispensing with the justice they profess to investigate. Mr Lei asks if the 8 are after Lo? Despite the thievery, nope, no real reason. He does show off a pretty knife he nicked in the process.
We do many toasts! To the bone physician! To coin! We drink till we are ready to turn in (apart from GFL who’s ready to). Overnight, we dress down and get our wounds treated, bolts removed etc, by apprentices of the physician. The next morning after breakfast (century eggs, congee, fried spam) Mr Gao gets up to help the skipper and first mate on HMS Seaworthy push off. Mr Gao helps out on the farm; Mr Lo heals up and steals up; Mr Lei basks in village life (dramabombs, arguments etc.) noting their unique seafood dishes. Mr Lei has risen above, seeing words as a dead medium: movements are enough to see the thrust of the argument.
Some meditative movements between us all to help us progress to higher planes. In doing so Mr Lo somehow gets scarred with the ideogram for ‘thief’ as well as an irrational dislike of...chickens? (did I hear right?). The villagers are now especially concerned about seeing the ‘thief’ on Lo’s forehead. Lo also takes extreme exception to the village cockerel, and Gao spots how highly strung the villagers seem. He also suffers terrible nightmares and gets weird black veiny looks forming. Farmin’ and charmin’, the villagers are very highly strung: nervous, especially out of sight of the Physician (when they keep their obsequity up). A daily drawing of water from the well amongst the villagers - very ritualistically? - taking a cup and drinking it without having boiled/treated it. GFL, one morning, asks for a cup of water from a villager, who asks “why do you need one? Surely you’d like a cup of tea, oh Monkyness?” GFL asks “is there something wrong with the water in the well, you all seem to drink it quite happily. Beads of sweat form but GFL doesn’t see these, although he hears the accelerating heart rate and sweat dropping to the ground, and a hurried “there’s nothing wrong with the well-water, it’s just a habit that we’ve all developed over the years but there’s nothing special about it”. GFL starts to play it canny, listens out for a time when the well isn’t occupied and sidles up to grab a cup and try it out. Before doing so he goes through the usual steps to discern palatability, poisonability, plumbumability, potability etc. It’s definitely got something in, the smell is medicinal/antidotive (yet it makes everyone nervous, odd). Certainly no sense of revulsion/danger of poisons. GFL asks if the villagers look healthy to us? We relay to GFL how jumpy they look, Gao noting that some of them he’s been farming with are getting less well, as if they’re weakening/wearying/frail. Mr Lo has despite his forehead branding been able to plunder some items and heard through an open window - stealing a roast chicken cooling on the windowsill, caught a conversation “I’m not taking that stuff any more, I’ve had enough! He can’t keep us here! I’d rather die than carry on”. Ruminating on this as he ruminates on a leg of the bird, he returns and tells the group what he heard.
GFL is trying to establish what’s up with the people here! Are they poisoned? Undead? Frail, weary, worried, imprisoned, problematic? Lo also speculates on whether ‘we could take him’ - Lei confirms whilst his kills are in single digits the top ten measure in hundreds. On the fifth day, one person takes very ill and the bone physician comes to visit the house and take a look at what’s up (the commotion: “he’s passing away”, “he’s not been drinking the water”). Mr Lei throws caution to the wind seeing the bone physician practice and finds a window overlooking this scene: he finds a window, looks in, and sees the physician pull a cup, a gourd, dissolve some powder in the water and offers it to the bloke on the bed: he weakly accepts the cup, then throws it weakly at the physician, with so little energy it falls out of his hand and smashes. The physician looks sad, shakes his head and looks at the man, with a shrug, then a flashy movement lashes out at the man, jabbing: the man locks up and falls back onto the bed. More poking and prodding ensues where it seems the physician is ‘testing things’? Mr Lei continues to watch, the bone physician working the person over, snapping the shin of the guy (then the other one). Mr Lei watches on, as long as he can!
Mr Lo uses the commotion opportunity to slink off (presumably to kill a rooster whose morning cock-calls have been enervating him); he sneaks up and obtains the rooster, pecking and clucking, totally by surprise. He pounces, grabbing it by the neck, and wrings its neck with two twists. He looks for woodlands or somewhere concealed to go and pluck this bird.
Mr Gao nips off to get a cup of wellwater to see if it’ll reanimate a dead rooster. GFL is there too then Mr Lo shows up with the bird in his robes. We throw water down its gullet to see whether or not it’ll revive, basically by selling the opportunity to kill the rooster twice if it happens to revive. Meanwhile GFL asks whether Lo will have a poke around the cottage belonging to the physician: proposing to look for books, bottles etc. of medicine/poison; the money would be his. We decide not to toss the bird into the well, which means we continue to carry it around to see if it reanimates.
Meanwhile all but Lei head to the bone physician’s place for Lo to try and break in to nose around. He gets in and finds a map - 30 years old! - and some of these people are not that old. That means the map has been updated, or… and he also find a profile on each and every person in the village; all of the birth dates - the latest one, for one of the kids - is 30 years ago. Very odd! The kid was running around and certainly not more than 5-6. Bloody zombies i knew it. Mr Lo declares to himself that this is ‘bloody witchcraft’. Moving to another room he finds rudimentary science equipment and vials, as well as envelope-sachets of medicine powders? He pockets some examples, looking around all the while for the tell-tale signs of safekeeping - loose floorboards, hideyholes behind paintings, under a pile of paperwork he finds a pouch of coins including some silver. He has meds, intel, has had a poke around and considers going upstairs, but first whispers out to GFL and hands over vials, and explains the intel too. Very strange! Also noted on the town map some houses with some ticks on, and some with ticks rubbed out.
Mr Lei continues to look on at the experiments of the physician, now on a thoroughly dead and bone-broken corpse. Looking to his right, he catches a glimpse and spots the mirror: locking eyes the physician sees Lei! He smiles at Lei and given no wave in or away, Lei continues to look, the physician looks down at the corpse, looks back at Lei, scratches his beard, nods to himself and then stands to turn to the window. He opens the window, smiles and confirms if we’re still up for dinner in 2 days time as he’ll need our services. Lei nods and smiles, makes an ‘it would be my honour’ gesture, to which the Physician nods, closes the window, smiles once more and drops the blind.
We discuss what to do with the not-animated chicken, given it’s incriminating, suggest chucking it on the roof, burying it, staging an elaborate accident in which it’s broken its neck, but Mr Lo eventually coaxes us to give it to him, and chucks it down the well. Who knows how that’ll go.
Mr Lei gets missionising - pamphleteering - but they seem very worried about taking them, despite the health benefits Lei mentions, and generally perplexes him. He reports these concerns. Mr Lo presents the vials to GFL for review again, and GFL asserts the village is being poisoned non-consensually. GFL is very unsure about opening vials of unknown things; next up is the envelope-sachet of odd fine black powdery stuff which smells pungent, certainly not good. It’s likely this is the stuff mixed into the vials? A symbol on each envelope marks them, but this isn’t the stuff down the well (not enough of it?).
Proposal is to skip dinner, and town, even if it causes a grudge with a high ranking bone prodder. A polite note might be in order? Mr Lei writes “it would be a mighty dishonour to leave without telling our host why.” Mr Lo suggests that’s what the note is for! Sadly Mr Lei makes very clear it must be done in person. He does however propose we could leave a note saying ‘gone to Aotown, of course we’ll be back for dinner unless we’re somehow waylaid’. But, it’s a 2 day walk...eep. The thinking is #1 jianghu might have something to say on this?
GFL wants to help the villagers but is unsure we can; we decide to talk to some villagers who might let slip, and Gao remembers some farmers who were more chatty. Gao takes along an envelope with a symbol on but not the powder, just in case. He starts talking to the farmer who points out a field was untended for 2 decades, which is odd since he’s been there all his life (so when Gao asks why, is it because there were enough fields, and the farmer agreeably assents). We switch to Mr Ma, the sick fella, who has stopped taking his medicine (and then says the rest of the village are taking the same medicine, then corrects himself). Gao then proffers the envelope just to note the symbol and wafts in his direction and says not to take it, it’s poison, and it’s what the bone physician uses to keep people here, since the well has the antidote in. Also if we go to dinner it’s probably only Mr Lei he’s after. We also establish this fella looks 30ish, has been there all his life but somehow seems...non-coastal. Remembers rivers! And the like. Mr Gao sticks around to do some more small talk, plant some rows, then returns to the inn.
GFL reasserts going to dinner is a bad idea but Gao points out again it’s up to Mr Lei since he’s the one who’ll be “turned”. Mr Lei says despite the dishonour high ranking jianghu have their foes (implication: we’re highranking and have a foe? Or we’re his foes, but not highranking enough to y’know, go after us). We discuss when to leave, therefore, whether evening or night is a wise option, and we think about the physician’s usual movements (wandering around during the day, talking to people, tending to the ill). We start thinking about ways out - paths, roads, docks - and best means of exit.
As we’re packing and getting ready to sneak off - mostly by saying we’re going to work on a farm and then keeping walking, we hear outside the bar a couple arguing, and one says ‘I can’t stand being stuck here with you, I want to go home’, and as this argument escalates, the bone physician tries to calm them down and we decide to hang out in the bar rather than walk past the guy. GFL thinks that all these people are from ‘away’ and the physician “collects” people? Mr Gao asks Mr Lo what he can remember about the files the physician had, wondering if everyone is from ‘away’ and elaborate backstories are being crafted.
Meanwhile Mr Lei is watching as the bone physician defuses the argument, forming ideas in his mind about the martial prowess of the couple (limited). The physician at one point lashes out with a hand motion, jabbing with two fingers in a few places on both parties bodies, and then freeze and stiffly/robotically turn and walk away from each other. Physician dusts his hands off after job well done, walks away and then remembering, turns back to the inn. The Physician asks the innkeeper if we’re around as he’d love to see us.
Innkeeper comes up the stairs, knocks and waits politely, and Mr Lo opens the door. Innkeeper bows and after apologising for disturbing us, invites us downstairs for tea and a snack. Mr Lo says sure and shuts the door, then the innkeeper proposes we go now not in an hour or two once we’ve had a wash and stuff. Mr Gao is filthy. But that’s all good! We head downstairs hoping the innkeeper is preparing tea and snack so we know it’s not being adulterated. In the tea room, the physician is there with his tea and pot, sipping away. As we come in he stands, bows and gestures for us to sit. He asks how we’re doing then asks the innkeeper for drinks, catties and “the special stuff” (?!) before turning to ask how our time in the village has been. The physician notes Gao’s weird veiny complexion and offers a house call tonight to check it over, then turns to Mr Lo to say ‘he has a lot on his mind lately’. Mr Lo says he indeed knows nothing about how it got there.
Innkeeper returns with red pepper wine from Saichun, premium stuff, and teapots for us all. Apparently the wine is 5x costly! We toast to our health, Mr Lo palming his fingerfull, then Physician makes chit chat - including inviting Mr Lei over to cure his speaking issue!! Gosh. Mr Lei instead proffers a card noting he’s content with his current state of being, allowing him to focus more on his internal martial arts. The Physician accepts this, rises to leave with catty, bids everyone farewell till dinner except Mr Gao who he’d see tonight and goes. We agree leaving is a good idea to do now.
We head upstairs, get our bags, prepare to leave - noone out front, innkeeper out back - and prepare to leave. Mr Lo asks if on the way out of town Mr Lei wants him to break in again and find the mute-cure, or ‘did he mean what he [said/wrote] about not minding’. Mr Lei says “I suppose if we’re begrudging the bone physician there’s no harm in adding insult to injury”. Mr Lo nods and says he’ll scarper. We take his bag and head to the edge of the village. Mr Lo is working the houses near his own abode and mutters to himself ‘gotta be quick! Mustn’t be caught!’. Hopping in through the same window, he notes the papers he’d forgotten before but heads straight upstairs - 2 main rooms, one bedroom, one room with pieces of paper, drawings, annotations, anatomy diagrams - lots of pictures of throats (very detailed sections, like they had one to work on!) - and the implication that some sort of liquid will do the job. Looking around there are 4-5 vials with liquid so he scoops them all up and hides them in various places to muffle them. He rolls up the pictures too and pockets them. On the way downstairs he looks back down over those character profiles, map of town with labelled houses and ticks/circles on houses , and then tries to recall what people were asking: remembering Mr Gao’s question about whether the profiles imply a backstory saying the person has been here their whole life, since so many of them remember little things about being ‘away’. Skimming through the profiles he sees one alarmingly like Mr Lei. He cuts this page out, and then sneaks back out of the window and turns face to face with.. The 5 year old (35 year old!) kid. The kid points out he shouldn’t be in there, Mr Lo offers a coin and the kid bargains for 2 coins, is given 3 and in his joy calls out to his parents about the coins the nice man gave him. Lo scarpers.
We await Mr Lo on the outskirts of the village. To us comes Mr Lo hurrying quickly, who says we should leave post-haste as he was identified by a kid. Lo hands Lei the sheet of his character profile, “Fa Xiao Feng” (Flower Little Wind), the age roughly concordant with appearance but birthdate 55 years ago, with an elaborate backstory - village worker, farmhand and handyman, note at bottom: “found a good candidate” dated 5d prior. Weird huh, trying to rebuild a village? Lo then unrolls the throat diagram and hands it to Mr Lei, noting the jargon, and offloads a number of vials, then reads it clumsily to GFL. Night falls, we see no indication we’ve been stalked, no lights on the horizon, no noise, we head to Aotown. We press on overnight, and as the sun rises the next day, Mr Lo realises someone is marking us, keeping pace, just marking our movement. It’s a person holding an instrument and see a hunched body form and hear a faint song/tune. A small mule is walking alongside the person. Apparently the instrument is a pippa, being played and singing along, some kind of folk standard. As we slow to listen the person perceptibly gains on us. She greets us - an old lady! - puts away the instrument and we exchange pleasantries. As she reaches for the erhu to play another tune Mr Gao warns her Mr Lei is deaf so she’ll need to look at him, then catches a look at the erhu...is it possibly made of vellum and bone? Human or otherwise? Uh oh...
-1 d10 to physical skill groups - Falling Leaves and Mr Lei
San / Tai are Mr/Mrs prefixes
Miss Qing Yun, possible private investigator
Number 1 - Xie Lijuan - Heartless Dagger
Number 3 - The Bone Physician
Number 10 Liu Xiuling - Sword Goddess
Greg - Lo4 Zin2 Wing6
Harrison - Falling Leaves
Jonny - Lei5 Man6 Tin1
Niko - Gou1 Daai6 Jip6